Weigh in, Weigh off.

The scale is such an intimidating item. I'm pretty sure it's my least favorite part of doctor appointments- including those with blood-work! When I was pregnant with Wesley, I'd made Ray stand back 15 feet while they weighed me, and sometimes even resist to look myself.
In late 2008- early 2009, a lot of you know that I lost 85 pounds. It certainly didn't happen overnight, and it only happened after one day I decided that I wanted to work out and eat healthy.
Then, I think after Ray moved in and before our wedding I gained 5 here, 5 there. And while pregnant with Wesley I did well, only gained 20 pounds (And most of that in the last month when I stopped working.) However, the transition from being a working mom to a stay at home mom proved to be harder on me than I thought, and the weight slowly crept back up on me. After moving to Kentucky all the events that occurred within the immediate 45 days, I saw a lot of my hard work just fading away.

Well, 2012 there would be no more excuses. I'd make the most out of being a stay at home mom, but without the extra weight. I started my weight re-loss journey on January 8th, 2012 and as of March 31, 2012 I have lost 32.4 pounds. My goal has been 10 pounds a month, and (so far) I've been able to meet that goal every month. (Jan- 10.8, Feb 11.2, Mar 10.2) It's funny, because I had the most days in March, and the least amount of loss. Even with only having three weeks in Jan, and 3 less days in Feb, I still beat out this past month. Seems March has been a bit harder to stick with my program than the first two months. But, I am determined to stick with it throughout April!

My ultimate goal, you ask? I'm not sure what the number is, but I know I plan to surpass my weight loss from 2008/09, and hopefully go much further than that.

Some people have asked how I've done it, or what is my secret... Honestly, I've just counted calories and resolved myself to stay under a certain number, and pushed myself to make friends with my elliptical nightly! (Usually twice a day, but always at least once!) My Fitness Pal has a great calorie counting app that has been so great to have! I am going to start incorporating a 3x a week stregnth exercise into my routine, but I'm trying to find one that doesn't require me buying more equipment. I've thought about buying Insanity, but $150 is a bit much right!

So, I'm just going to think skinny thoughts, and hope I can stay on this path! We are planning a family vacation for Carly's fall break in October, and I was to be fabulous! (And also involve myself in some of the family pictures this time- no more hiding!)
Wish me luck!

Ugh, mornings.

We have an arrangement, and it works. Ray sleeps in Saturday, and I sleep in Sunday. It really does work. But I find myself on Saturday mornings grumbling about how it doesn't work. I wish I was a morning person.

What would you do early on a Saturday morning, after your son had eaten breakfast, is already wearing his favorite Toy Story shirt, and is now enjoying the benefits on Saturday morning cartoons? My school books are staring at my dauntingly, but my tired brain is avoiding their glare. My classes this semester include the last of my general eds- Communications and History, and two specialties- Microcomputers and HTML, XHTML, & CSS. For someone who likes to talk, I'm sure it's surprising to some that communications is my least favorite. We talk about our feelings too much in that class. I find myself thinking, 'What the heck do I have a husband for then?!' After this semester (Well, I lied, I have one more general to finish...) I have a summer full of 2 math classes, yuck. But after that it's straight specialties. I'm so excited. Hopefully I can do most of them online so I continue just being home with Wesley, and watching Paul (toddler who I've been watching for 3 weeks. Wesley has already asked for him 3 times this morning. He misses his friend. I think he'd be happier if his sister was at least home, but she is with her dad. Both of my kids are little social butterflies.)
In any case, school is moving along, and I'm excited to be done. Once I finish my Web Design degree, I can hopefully do somethings from home as I work towards my marketing BA. So many likes, so many hobbies, and just too many to choose from. I think I talk to Ray about my career choices once a week or perhaps even more.

I guess I'll do some homework. Although, looking up potential dates and places to stay for our *hopefully* fall Disney World trip sounds like more fun. And I can't quite reach my book. I wish I was a morning person.

2011.

2011 brought us-

A move 2000 miles from home.
A layoff
A full time job
2 part time jobs
2 Disney World trips
2 car accidents
Some physical therapy
2 mommy visits
3 flat tires
and the list goes on and on.

But above all, 2011 leaves us with 2 healthy, beautiful kids, healthy family, a roof over our heads, warm clothes on all our backs, and food in all our bellies.

If 2012 has half the love that 2011 did... bring it on!

Steps in the right direction.

We took the kids to the rehab center to see Aunt Judy last night. Carly did amazingly well with it all, especially since anything resumbling a hospital frightens her (She was even nervous about coming to see me when Wesley was born.) She gave Aunt Judy a hug, and then just kept her distance after that.
Back story- For those of you that don't know, Ray's Aunt Judy was in a car accident just down the street from our home after babysitting Wesley for me. For that I will be forever grateful and forever guilty. This was the Monday before Thanksgiving. She was transferred to a hospital in Kentucky where we had a rough few days, but she is on the mend now and back in Bowling Green doing therapy so she can go home! 
Wesley thinks going to the rehab center is so much fun, since there are so many 'toys' for him to play with and touch. Although it seems we always take him over there when he is tired, because he loses patience fast. Judy is doing remarkably well though, and hopefully will be home soon.

I've been spending as much time as possible trying to get Christmas presents done for everyone. We are doing mostly home-made and personalized gifts this year. We really go overboard during Christmas time, and we are trying to take it easy this year- for even the kids. We move next weekend, so hopefully we can get moved quick, and I can finish all our Christmas presents for everyone. Mom and Jordan will be here soon as well, so it's all just so exciting! Hopefully we will be all moved in by the time they get here. That would be ideal! 
I suppose I should start packing...

Disney and Autism- How to make them mesh?

Not even just Disney, but any place with crowds- the grocery store, the pumpkin patch, the family dinners?
Parenting alone is a challenge. I don't know anyone who would deny that it isn't all rainbows and butterflies 100% of the time. Everyone has their ups and downs, and keeping up with the ins and outs can be frustrating.

But try parenting a child with Autism. Seriously.

I wouldn't trade my daughter for the world, not even close. She is the most beautiful, sweet, smart, and hilarious little girl I have ever had the pleasure of spending time with.
However, she can be so tiring.
We just spent a week at Walt Disney World, a trip that was supposed to also double as a birthday trip for her. The crowds overwhelmed Carly, though, and she can't handle herself when she is overwhelmed. We had several times a day where she would just meltdown and cry/scream over something seemingly ridiculous to all parties involved. Yes, children scream and throw fits, it's a normal part of life. But a child who is able to comprehend reasoning and control their impulses does not cry and scream over telling her that it won't be 9:00 am for 5 more minutes, that she cannot re-ride something for the 3rd time because the park is closed, that she cannot push strangers in line because she's in a hurry, that she has to watch a 2 minute movie before boarding a ride, that she cannot yell to people to move out of her way in line, that she cannot pinch you because you told her she could have a snack in 15 minutes, that is told no to eating lunch at 9:30 am. She just does not understand how to handle herself when she is disappointed with something.
Children such as Carly thrive in environments where they have schedules that are basically followed. Even just a, wake up at 6:30 am, bus comes at 7:45 am, get home at 3:45 pm, have a snack at 4:00 pm, eat dinner at 6:00 pm, bathe at 7:00 pm, bed at 8:00 pm. The schedule doesn't have to be stuck to as strictly as it sounds, but she needs some foundation. Being in Disney World there was none of that, and she can't handle it. Her first impulse is to hit or cry, and she doesn't know how to stop herself.

So, no what? I love taking my kids to Disney, but I can't do it this way again. I suppose I could have made her a Disney schedule to stick to, but I couldn't be sure how it would all work. How do you take an OCD/Autistic child to Disney, and avoid having "That child" that everyone stares and shakes their heads at? (I don't really care about that, because I'm the first person to tell you to mind your own business and keep walking. But she does.)

I think I'm going to meet with Carly's doctor and see about seeing a nutrionist and discuss the benefits to putting an Autistic child on a Gluten and Casein free diet. From what I've read about it, it does help with the impulse control and cognitive thinking for some. I just want Carly to enjoy herself and her life.

Wesley had a blast, but is happy to be home and not in a hotel room. He was also over his stroller by the end of the week, and I can't say I blame him. I love taking these two there, it's so magical. Having one cuddled in your lap and the other cuddled next to you while you watch a parade is an amazing feeling. I want to continue to take my children annually, but I need to figure out a way to help Carly first.

Wish me luck!

2011 reflected- a little.

It's amazing how alike the two kids look. Even with different fathers, they still look like little replicas of each other. Some people would tell me when I was pregnant that the age difference was going to be hard, but it's not at all. They love each other so much, it's amazing to see. 

It's been a long year. A bumpy year. A stressful year. I'm ready for some smooth sailing, and hopefully we get a little reprieve right around the corner. Ray might very well be back to full time in the next few days, which will mean we are back to regular health insurance, and reliable pay. It doesn't, however, look like he'll be teaching any classes any time soon. That's a bummer because it brings in some extra money to get things paid off. But, him going back to full time will be nice. Having health insurance again will be nice (Jacie types as she squints at the computer screen, wishing she could order new glasses.) Working at WKU has been nice, just because I still get time to be home with the kids, but also still bring in a little extra money. Although, Wesley is starting daycare tomorrow, and I have some serious butterflies about that!

I can't believe Christmas is just around the corner. And in between now and then I turn 26 (On the road to 30!) and my baby girl turns 8. This year we are taking her to Disney World for her birthday, and I am really excited to surprise her with it. When Wesley gets old enough to surprise with Birthday trips, we will always end up being at Disney for the Star Wars festivities. I hope he enjoys SW as much as all of us! I love being able to spoil the kids!

I really want to get back out to Reno soon to visit. Southwest just fooled me, claiming rates were only $59 one way. Trickery. $214 is nothing like $59!!! But, I will visit home hopefully after the first of the year. It's going to be a busy 6 months: Visit home, 4 weeks of working 50 hour weeks, Ray's birthday, Mike and Nicole's wedding, hopefully Star Wars Weekends for Ray and I, and then Wesley's 2nd birthday. And that's only through May! 

Whew. Bring it on.

My favorite isn't your favorite. So what?

I try so hard not to play favorites with kids, and I don't think there is really a way to play favorites with a huge age gap like theirs. What one needs is usually not what the other needs. It will different as they both get older, and transition into teens/young adults etc. Looking back on my childhood,  you can see how hard it was to keep it obvious that my mom didn't favor any one of us. Even now, I think she tries. Of course, Jordan will always be the baby- that will never change. And Carly and mom will always share a special bond that will never change.  But mom tried to keep things as fair as she could as we grew up, and I respect her so much for that. A three of us are so different in so many ways, and my mom makes sure to make us feel like no one of us is better than the other. Favoritism is so old, and so overplayed, and I am so sick of seeing it in the most ridiculous places.


Anyways, I want to go swimming. Both kids have some energy to blow off, and I think we will go do something! Days like today really make me miss living within driving distance to the ocean. In fact, I've bee pretty homesick all week. I hope this passes soon... It can make one pretty miserable!